Footsteps in Faith: Learning each other’s love language makes marriage a stronger union

| August 18, 2011 | 0 Comments

Chaplain (Maj.) Josh Llano
8th Theater Sustainment Command



According to 1 John 4:12, “No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love has been brought to full expression through us.”

Falling in love is a momentary, romantic and emotional obsession.

Staying in love means the couple works to maintain those warm emotions, and this maintaining is hard work.

The Bible refers to love as an attitude. If we want to keep love alive, we must choose to have God’s attitude of love and look out for the other’s interest before our own. We do not deserve God’s love, but he chooses to love us. We need to follow that example.

Everyone has a need to be loved, but each person has a primary love language in which he or she receives love. Here are some of the tips from Gary Chapman’s book “The Five Love Languages.”

•Use words of affirmation. Don’t continually say negative comments to your mate, or this will drain his or her love tank to empty. When your mate is on empty, arguments start and cause problems in the relationship.

•Spend quality time together. Every couple should plan a weekly date, without the children, to keep the romance in their relationship alive. Quality conversions come from time spent together, and they are something every couple needs to improve on. Plan time to talk to each other daily, go for an evening walk, out for a coffee or out to eat at a nice restaurant.

•Giving gifts is another way to bring romance back to a relationship. Surprise your wife with flowers or a nice card out of the blue. Give the gift of your presence, and show up to your husband’s place of work with lunch.

•Acts of service are another great way to surprise your spouse. Cleaning the house, mowing the lawn, and washing and vacuuming a car will surprise spouses. The little things we do for each other keep the romance in our relationships.

•Regular physical touch is an exciting way to show how much you love each other. Hold hands during your walks together or put your arm around one another while on the couch. We need to make sure we meet each other’s love needs regularly, and don’t forget that a person with an empty love tank is very difficult to live with or be around.

We need to ask how we can keep each other’s love tanks full and not wait until everything starts to go downhill to seek help.

We need to learn the love languages of our spouses.

Chaplains routinely offer marriage and singles‘ training to help people develop stronger relationships.

Ephesians 5:27 says, “In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. For a man is actually loving himself when he loves his wife.”

Therefore, we need to love each other to keep our relationships and families strong.


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Category: Footsteps in Faith, News, Standing Columns

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